Thursday, February 03, 2005

James St. James at the Jackson Trial

For those who know James, or know OF James, it is possibly perfect that he has travelled to Santa Maria to witness the madness of the Jackson trial first hand.
Who else would be able to see the glamour and tragedy such an event has on display?

Thank you James for sharing your first report :)

All reports will eventually be appearing on a British entertainment and info site-
Once they have been posted, I'll share the link here-

MONDAY, SANTA MARIA COURTHOUSE – Are you kidding? Of course I came. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Why, it’s ground zero for the most important legal decision of our lifetime! A Scopes Monkey Trial for the 21st century! The themes are epic! The consequences dire! This is big-time stuff, folks. BIG! BIG! Biblical even! This goes way beyond Good versus Evil. We are here to decide if good can even exist in the modern world! Is faith even possible in a forensics-based society? And what about the children? MY GOD, WILL SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?

Let’s face it, with Michael Jackson there is very little middle ground. He either represents all that is good in the world, or all that is twisted and evil. Consider the facts. Assume for a minute that he’s innocent. No really. It could happen. If he TRULY IS innocent, if he is who he claims to be, and his heart is pure, and his actions are truly charitable – if he loves God’s children and wants only to do what’s right by them. then, by god, he really is A SAINT AMONG MEN. Praise the Lord and pass the duck butter. If such a man really exists, than there IS goodness in the land, and the meek shall inherit the earth, and hey, maybe unicorns do exist, and world peace is possible with George Bush. Hell, maybe even George Bush is a good person.

But if he is guilty – and with a sinking heart we must in all likelihood steel ourselves for that possibility – why then, let the records show that he is truly EVIL INCARNATE. A monster, through and through. And we must therefore question the motives of each and every “good” person on earth and suspect that beneath their altruism lies a darker motivation.


That’s why we’re all here in Santa Maria, California.

The battle lines are drawn. The stakes are high. The outcome, life-altering. THE TENSION IS ALMOST TOO MUCH.

I worry most about the Michael Jackson impersonators. They have the most to lose here. I mean, WHAT HAPPENS when the person you have based your entire life and career upon, suddenly falls from grace? What would you do? Where would you go? What happens on that dark night of the soul when you must admit to yourself that you have based your whole life upon a fraud?

As I wandered through the crowd I spotted Navi, the most famous MJ impersonator in England, and asked him those very questions.

Talking to the various fanatics throughout the day, I realized that I was perhaps the only person who even for a moment entertained the notion of Michael’s guilt. I was the only person worried about the consequences of a negative outcome. Not one person there seemed to believe for a second their hero could do something so villainous. I think it was Napolean (or maybe Kathy Griffith) who said “There is no place in a fanatic’s head where reason can enter”. Too true. Too true.

Well, you’ve seen the news footage. The endless parade of fans from around the world. Sobbing psychos from England, France, Japan, Poland, Belgium, and beyond holding homemade signs and flags: “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” “U R THE VICTIM HERE, MICHAEL!” “THE BRIGHTEST STAR IS YOU! “ All of them absolutely convinced of his innocence. Nothing but a sea of absolute fanatics as far as the eye can see, wearing white as a symbol of his purity.


Except for one old lady, one sad and heroic lady at the edge of the crowd, who just about broke my heart. Her name was Diane and she, alone, held a sign that read “WE BELIEVE AND SUPPORT THE VICTIMS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.”

“I was molested as a child,” she told me, “and it’s so important to listen to them.” We talked for a few moments about how hard it was for her to stand there, every day, and be attacked by the Jackson fans.

Just then, somebody threw a rock at her sign. “YOU’RE UNAMERICAN!” screamed the head of the MercyForMichael website. “YOU DON’T REPRESENT AMERICA! HE’S INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY! GET OUT OF HERE!!”

People cheered, and a crowd formed around Diane.

She trembled slightly, but held her ground. Eventually the angry mob moved on.

It was a depressing little scene and I thought about it all day long.

Back in my hotel room that night, there wasn’t much to do, so I decided to bone up on my Rabbinical legends (of course, of course). I discovered an ancient bit of lore that I clasped to my bosom and embraced as fact:

It is said, and thus believed, that at any given time, there are in existence 34 good people on the planet, whose purity keeps God from giving up on us and destroying the world all over again (with floods and Tony Danza talk shows and so forth). There can never be ANY LESS than 34 people – and by God, let’s hope that there are more. So, if any one should die or fall from grace and lapse into unChristian-like behavior, someone else must rise to beatitude to take his place.

I decided that Diane, of course, is one of them. And, as discussed before, Michael WAS, but his purity is being challenged, and therefore the fate of the world hangs in the balance. Yes, with him, goes the world.

(For the record, these are the other 32, as far as I can figure:

3. Oprah
4. Dr. Mathilda Krim
5. Dear Abby
6. Nelson Mandela
8. Rosa Parks
9. Ricky Martin
10. Sister Wendy
11. The old lady from TITANIC
12. Tammy Faye Messner
13. Ty Pennington
14. Matthew Shepard’s mother
15. Desmond Tutu
16. Betty White
17. Joan Embry from the San Diego Zsoo
18. Me
19. Julie Andrews
20. Ben (but not Jerry)
21. Christiaan Amanpour
22. Paul Newman
23. Kermit the Frog
24. Montel
25. Jim Galasso
26. Madeline Albright
27. Todd Oldham
28. Della Reese
29. Maggie Smith
30. Morrissey
31. Doris Day
32. Keanu Reeves
33. Carol Channing
and 34 is a tie between Jai Rodriguez and the Pope)

So now we know: If Michael is found guilty, God will destroy the world. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Stay tuned, as the story continues.

– James St. James


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