Wednesday, March 16, 2005

What counts as cheating, and Ocular Fornication

It's 4 o'clock, and the phone is ringing.
Check the caller ID - no info.

"Hello?" I whispered in my newly returned, though weaker voice.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Better. Not my best, but much better."
"I think you're a bit of Kathleen Turner right now with that voice!" he says, oddly excited.
"I'm glad you like it."
"Do you feel up to meeting later for a chat?"
"Yes I think so. You sure you want to stay up that late?" I asked.
"Yes of course. I'm looking forward to it."
"Alright then," I say," see you then."

He was right on time, as always. :)

"So how was the concert?" he asked.
"Much fun! Ryan taught me something new, then we went to the Good Luck Bar and met Matt and Carlos and Saryn and her new girlfriend."

"Which should I ask about first?" he inquires.

"Which are you most curious about?"
"Honestly Saryn and her new girlfriend. I'm not sure I want to know the sorts of things Ryan is educating you."

So I sent him here to show him pix of the new girl.
"Wow"
"Really?" I ask, "you likie?"
"I wish I could make this command to anyone who meets me 'I command that all slaves and concubines worship me.' That must be quite convienent." he says.

At this I laugh.

"She is making my girl VERY happy." I say.

"Ponygirl! Isn't that what you were telling me about a couple of weeks ago?"
"I'm not sure she means it the same way." I say. "Where does it say that anyway?"
"On her page under the Groups heading."
"I'll ask her about it the next time I see her." I decide, and share with him.
"LOOK at you! Aren't you lovely?"
"am I?" I ask.

If I had a webcam he'd see me blush and giggle.

I greatly enjoy his ability to make me blush and giggle.
While these are both two very girly things to do, I don't mind the silliness so much when it is in response to him.

"Dearest, do me a favor?"
"Sure, anything." I say.
"Tell Jeff that he is a lucky man. He is perhaps the only man on the planet who will ever be graced with 24 hours of imposed silence from you."
"Would you like more than 24 hours of silence from me?" I challenge.
"Of course not," he says, "but the moment should be acknowledged."

So I go to the kitchen and pass the message on to Jeff.
His reply is, this. So I come back to the keyboard and type out \m/. After I explain what
\m/ means, I begin to fear that Colin and Jeff have shared their first moment, of possibly many, at my expense.

This makes me a little uncomfy.

"So what did Ryan teach you?",he asks.
"What would you think of, if I were to say, ocular fornication?"

"Ocular fornication?" he clarifies.

"Yes."

"well, ocular means of or relating to the eye, and fornication is sex between unmarried individuals. So I guess that would be watching unmarried people having sex?"

"You're thinking too much." I say, "It's Eye Fucking."
"Ryan taught you how to fuck someone in the eye?"

"No Darling! It's when you see someone you don't know, and in your mind, you're already having sex with them. You've already imagined it." I say.

"I do that all the time.", he confesses.

"Well thats what Ryan and I have been doing."
"With each other?" he asks.
"Yes, sometimes the same boy." I say.
"Not you and Ryan eye fucking each other, but you have been eye fucking others while with each other?"
"Yes. Would the other matter though?" I ask.
"No. No bounds and all that.", he types. "Just wondering."

"What if we were together?" I ask.
"Are we together?"
"I said what if?"
"What if we were together what?"
"If we were together, and I was eye fucking Ryan, would that matter?" I ask.

"I guess not. It's not like it's cheating.", he says.
"and what would be cheating?" I ask.

At this, one of those long pauses that have become common in our chats.

I continue-

"My friend Aaron says that cheating is when any part of your body comes into contact with a part of someone elses body,that would normally be covered by a swimsuit."

"So to Aaron, kissing is not cheating?" he asks.
"Not on the mouth."
"Or the neck, or shoulder, or thigh, or arse, or hips, or belly according to that logic." he types.
"I guess it does depend on the bathing suit." I say.

"What do you think is cheating?" he asks.

"Kissing is not cheating."
"On the lips, or anywhere a bathing suit does not cover?" he asks rather quickly.

"On the lips. In most cases." I say.
"Most cases?"

"If a kiss is just for fun and does not mean anything, then it is not cheating. If a kiss is more than just playing, if it means something, then it is cheating."

"Your turn to answer" I type.

"I think anything that you do with someone that you know would make your partner unhappy, you should not do. Cheating or otherwise. If you know it would make them unhappy, then that is reason enough not to do it." he says.

"and if your partner is unhappy about you doing things that you don't consider cheating?" I ask.
"If you are not in agreement as to what is and what is not, then you have selected the wrong partner."

"Well then?"
"Well then what?" he asks.
"Well then what is cheating in your opinion?"

"Being untrue. Physically or emotionally. Betraying a commitment you made with someone."
"and have you ever been untrue?" I ask.

Another extended pause here.

"Yes." he confesses.

"Since you and I dated?" I ask.
"Immediately after you and I dated."
"wow"

"Have you?" he asks.
"Nope. Been close. But never have. Prolly because I have been cheated on."

More pause.

"Did you learn anything from it?" I ask.
"I learned I didn't like being selfish. I put my desire in front of her feelings. I didn't like who I was after it happened."

"Do you like who you are now?" I ask.
"I do.", he says, "I've grown up a fair bit since then."

"I like who you are now."
"Thank you. That makes the fear over confession easier.", he says, "and I like who you are now too."

"Thanks-for liking who I am now, and for making me smile." I say.

"All I ask is for an opportunity Dear :)", is his too sweet reply

"OK-this is getting too serious!" I say, "we need to lighten the mood."

"Ok", he says, "Why did the chicken cross the playground?"
"I have no idea."
"To get to the other slide"

Dear Gawd!
Protect me from falling for a man that tells jokes like these :)

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