Wednesday, July 27, 2005

"give me my sin again"

So I'm a little nervous about Friday night.
It'll be the first night back in Gomorra-and I'm not sure how I'm going to do.

When I chatted with Colin today about it, he only said he had every faith that I would do what was right for me.
Then me pointed out-

"Acquiescence to certain kisses does not mean any sin is forgivable. We've committed to share our sins with eachother alone."
"And my kisses are sinful?" I asked.

The point is, I'm fretting over being back where most of my temptation stems from, and he has no doubt that I'll do the right thing.

I have to admit that his confidence made me a bit grumpy.

But I've been a bit grumpy for the last few days.

I'm not having great expierences with sharing the news of my engagement with people I have been dating.
Poor Saryn has had to up with my bitching how infuriating boys can be, and if there is one thing she should not have to be a part of it is boy drama.

It's not even like I was seriously dating anyone state side-just lots of non-serious dates with a few friends.
Boys who are friends, who know you were never interested in anything other than adventures and distractions, do not take well to being told the distracting adventures have to end.

And it frustrates me to no end.

I expect that people who you were friends with prior to dating, who you then become unavailable too, would embrace your change in status and be happy for you, as your friend.

For the most part this has not been the case.

I am reminded that boys are possesive, angry little widgets.

Now that I think about it, the only semi-positive responses I have gotten to the news have been one person saying that he, "is not afraid of a challenge", and Ryan saying something about there always being room for jello.
(I think he's the jello in that annalogy)

Rom. If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this;
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. 96
Jul. Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss. 100
Rom. Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?
Jul. Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
Rom. O! then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair. 104
Jul. Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.
Rom. Then move not, while my prayers’ effect I take.
Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purg’d. [Kissing her.
Jul. Then have my lips the sin that they have took. 108
Rom. Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urg’d!
Give me my sin again.


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