Monday, December 05, 2005

"to polish one's knob" no more



During my first trip to Paris, I of course went to visit Père Lachaise to pay my respects to Oscar.

When entering the cemetary, there is an information office that provides maps.

Of note by the caretaker that morning was that I should also visit, Victor Noir.

He then, in broken English, relayed that should a lady bestow a kiss, she would be granted with a powerful sex life, to bestow a rub, great fertility.

Imagine my attempt at being polite while assuming his English was more broken than I originally presumed.

However-

I followed the map and read the history and found that Noir was a reporter, shot by Prince Bonaparte, and that his murder was credited with raising the people to overthrow Napoleon III and form the Third Republic.

When you come upon the monument, it is a sculture of Noir, lying as if just murdered.
And where one would expect to perhaps bestow a rub, a prominant addition by the sculptor.

I did not rub.
Many before me had, as the sculpture had been polished due to frequent rubbings.

Years later when I returned with Colin to again visit Oscar, I relayed the story and he said that's where the phrase "to polish one's knob" orginated.
He also said there were stories of young women not only rubbing, but mounting and achieving completion on the statue.
Tip of the hat to all you French women out there.

This morning, Colin sent me the following report...
*****
Statue rubbed wrong way
AAP
06dec05

THE tomb of a romantic 19th century figure has been fenced off over fears the statue is being damaged by female visitors rubbing its groin area.

The tomb of journalist Victor Noir has long been popular with women visitors because of his romantic reputation and the effigy's design, the BBC reported.
Now Pere Lachaise cemetery officials have put up a fence and a sign prohibiting "indecent rubbing". The statue depicts Noir on his back, with a distinct and worn enlargement in the groin.

Legend has it that a woman who kisses the effigy's lips and places a flower into its upturned top hat will find a husband by year's end.

Noir was killed in a duel by Pierre Bonaparte, a great-nephew of the emperor Napoleon.
*****

So there you have it-no more knob rubbing, or mounting, or kissing, or whatever you may have wanted to do on your next visit.

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