Friday, January 27, 2006

Overheard in NY continues to delight...


Woman: Move in, motherfuckers, move in!
Yuppie guy: Wait for the next one, this is too packed.
Woman: Bitch, I have to be on this train!
Yuppie guy: This isn't the train to heaven, you know. It's, like, going to Queens.

--F train

Guy: Yeah, that's the first thing I learned when I moved here: don't eat street meat, it's probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don't care what kind of meat it is as long as it's in my mouth.
Girl #1: That's my sister; she's looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I'm not!
Guy: I'm married.

--Irving Plaza, Irving Place

Girl: Do you smell that? Smells like straight up pussy in this bitch.
Guy: I wouldn't know.
Girl: What do you mean you wouldn't know? It's pussy.
Guy: I wouldn't know. I'm gay.
Girl: Damn, son. So what does dick smell like?
Guy: Wouldn't you know? I mean when you get on your knees?

--M14D bus

Thursday, January 26, 2006

"Mongo only pawn... in game of life. "


Blog meme tagged by Andrew.

Four Jobs I’ve Had

1. Bar Manager
2. Magician's Assistant
3. Book Caretaker
4. Life Drawing Model

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

1. Moulin Rouge
2. Fight Club
3. Sense and Sensibility
4. Blazing Saddles

Four Places I’ve Lived

1. Dallas, Texas
2. Los Angeles, California
3. Dublin, Ireland
4. Oxford, England (every few weeks or so)

Four TV Shows I Love

1. Project Runway
2. Black Adder
3. Biography
4. Sex and the City

Four Places I’ve gone on holiday to

1. London
2. Berlin
3. Nairobi
4. Rome

Four of My Favorite Dishes

1. Pasta with chicken and Italian sausage
2. French Dip sandwich
3. Fajita Tacos (while in Texas)
4. Movie theater popcorn

Four Sites I Visit Daily

1. CNN.com
2. hpana.com
3. Tribe.net
4. My site list of blogs I read

Four Places I Would Rather Be Now

1. Pier 39 San Francisco watching the sea lions
2. having a chocomuffin in the cafe at Blackwells in Oxford
3. The Getty doing some writing
4. at the gym on the treadmill watching daytime tv

Four Bloggers I Am Tagging

1. Saryn
2. Jeff
3. Ryan
4. Michael Robles

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Thank You Kelly Lynch!




Thanks to Kelly for this lovely bit of smush.
This is her interpretation of a Snape and Skarlett moment.
Who knew my obsession would serve well as a muse?

I find it extra fun that it's me pouncing Snape, and not him pouncing me.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

“Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.”





My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
My lovely lady lumps (lumps)
In the back and in the front (lumps)
My lovin’ got u,"





That's what I would have sung.
Our night out at the local evolved into a Karoke night.

Went out for a meeting of the Pussy on the Prowl gals tonight.

First time in ages since we all got together for drinks (pints of cider with Red Bull) and gossip and talks.

What do a bunch of gals out together talk about and learn?

One gal has the best pick up line among us,
-"I don't look like this in the morning"

One gal has the drama that's hot and steamy,
-it involves a towel and a young boy (I've prolly already said too much).

One gal is just trying to find Mr Right, instead of Mr Will Do
-she made a good effort, but what can you do?

One gal is silly happy being married,
-and is up for fun and frolic this Friday with the rest of us-

And then I guess my only confession is that I promissed not to get married in jeans.
-Not that big a deal really, though if I listened to Amber, I'd be wearing the Moulin Rouge gown I made to my wedding

Points of Interest:

Always entertaining and flirtingly tempting to come across an ex diversion behind the bar

Life, and play time, is more exciting in black and red

Frogs may not make you lesbian, but they still make you sticky.

Anyway, we hoped Ryan would come and join the girls, but he's had an architectural misadventure (translation: the apt above his flooded and made his kitchen ceiling come crashing down).

Here's to hoping I can persuade him into coming out on Friday and playing with me and the rest of the gals.

Then we're off to Sea World,

"because nothing gets me hotter than whales in the water"

“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”



I'm walking to meet Michael for lunch, and like only he can, he screams,
"Those wedges are FABULOUS!"

I smiled

They are fabulous.

I caught up to him and thanked him,
"I haven't worn them in a year, and they need oiling. The leather is making some odd quaking sound. It's like a duck is in my shoes."

We walk on to have some lunch, and as we find a table he says,

"Look at that! I want to push him down and put my cock in his mouth!"

I was gaping.
Shocked.
Stuttering.

Michael looked at me and very confused innocently asked,
"what?"

"ummm nothing I guess. I just didn't expect you to say something like that."

"Oh please! You were the one just talking about needing to get oiled, and whacked, and confessed getting fucked in your shoes!"

More gaping on my part.

"WHAT?"

"You just SAID you need to get oiled and whacked and that you like to get fucked in your shoes!"

"I said it sounds like there's a DUCK in my shoes. A DUCK!"

"oh...........
well I still want to put my cock in his mouth. My COCK!"

Monday, January 23, 2006

New Zealand Airways has interesting ideas for getting inflight comfort

"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.”



I had asked Andrew how cold it was, 3 degrees C.
Then I thought that it must always be MUCH colder in Wales, than Oxford, so it won't be THAT bad, and Colin and I discussed dates, and I booked, and we got a great round trip ticket on British Airways for $250 plus taxes and fees.

Yes it's nonrefundable, and yes the dates are set, but what a deal!

Colin jumps on line, we're having some AIM time, and he comments that he does not want to go down the hall to the loo, because it's so cold, and he's just gotten nice and warm.

But is must always be much colder in Wales than Oxford, right?

No.

Not sure how my California thin skin is going to do moving into that climate.

-4 C

Thats the temprature.

-4 C

Which I think is 24 F

I'm still trying to learn the conversions.

I'm cold here at my desk in sunny, punished with Santa Ana winds so its like 70 F, southern California, just thinking about it.

Fucking having to pack a fucking coat and gloves and scarfs and hats and warm PJs and boots and thermals and tights and all that.

And I remember in Texas many winters of -degrees, which would be much colder, right?
Because negative there is negative from 32F, but negative here is negative from 0F-right?

Wonder where the deer goes when it snows?
They don't have a barn as far as I remember.

And wonder if the Cherwell will be frozen?

Looked up images for the front pic for this entry, and thought that while this looks very cold, it looks very pretty.

My pic taken in July, and this pic taken after the snow.

Ah well-will try and remember the camera this time.
And if I see any deer popsicles in the Cherwell, I'll take a pic for all of you.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

“Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends up blocking his retreat.”



Saryn sent me to OK Cupid to take the Dating Type quiz.

Supposedly I am:

The Peach
Playful, kind, and well-loved, you are The Peach.

For such a warm-hearted, generous person, you're surprisingly experienced in both love and sex. We credit your spontaneous side; you tend to live in the moment, and you don't get bogged down by inhibitions like most women your age. If you see something wonderful, you confidently embrace it.

You are a fun flirt and an instant sweetheart, but our guess is you're becoming more selective about long-term love. It's getting tougher for you to become permanently attached; and a guy who's in a different place emotionally might misunderstand your early enthusiasm. You can wreck someone simply by enjoying him.

Your ideal mate is adventurous and giving, like you. But not overly intense.

DREAD: The False Messiah

CONSIDER: The Loverboy, The Playboy, or The Boy Next Door

Your exact opposite:
The Nymph
**********************

So of course I sent the link to Colin, and supposedly he is:

**********************
The Gentleman
Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.

For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you're their man. You're sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you're experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you're classic "marrying material," a prize in the eyes of many.

It's possible that behind it all, you're a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you're fundamentally sex-driven. You're a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you're like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.

Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. She is giving and loving, like you, but also experienced. Avoid the The Battleaxe at all fucking costs.


CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor, someone just like you.

Your exact opposite:
The Last Man on Earth

*****************

"male slut" I KNEW it!
:)

Take the test yourself here.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

"This cow had polio."



Polly shared one of the overheard sites today-
Here are some of my faves:

Overheard At 24th And Potrero. Unclear If Said By Man, Woman Or Hooker
"My panties are like hot pants tonight. Whoooooooo!"

Girl to Friend Before Walking Into Bedroom
Girl 1: "Let me go see if John is decent."
Girl 2: "You can tell that just by looking at him?"

Writing Teacher On The Mammalian Quality Of Ideas
"Ideas are like cows. No, no, that's stupid.... Ideas are like rabbits."

Art Supply Store Clerk I Can't Help But Think Was Mistaken
"Yeah, I'm sorry, we don't have any two-sided paper."

Guys Demonstrating The Difference Between The Cultures
Brit: "We wanted to tour New Orleans, but now -- well, it's just so sad."
American: "You could still go. Just get a room on the top floor."

Guy Who Knows Where To Get All The Best Homeless Services
"I'm homeless, bitches! Wanna get laid? That's okay, my dick's out of commission anyway. I hooked up with a dominatrix last night."

Guy I'm Glad Isn't My Dad
Girl: "What ever happened to Snuffleupagus?"
Guy: "I think they turned him into potted meat."

Fifth Graders On MUNI
Boy: "You got to be quiet cause she's tryin' to read the newspaper, and he's readin' a book, and she's tryin' to listen to her ipod."
Girl: "Well then she'd better crank that shit up."

The Fun Thing About Halloween Parties
PARTY ONE:
Guy: "Is Robert Smith British?"
Girl: "I don't know. Let's ask the spider; she'd know."

Exhausted Guy In Hospital Waiting Room
"I wonder why they have a chapel but they don't have a bar."

Guy Making Me Doubt My Grandma's Wisdom
Girl: "You know how they say when your nose itches someone's coming?"
Guy: (Blank stare) "You mean sexually?"

Vegetarian In Heavy Denial
Guy: "You're a vegetarian? But you're wearing a leather coat."
Girl: "This cow had polio."

Animators At Party, Flirting In A Rankin/Bass Sort Of Way
Guy: "I know why you like me. I'm too much!"
Girl: "Eh, you're cool. But you're no Heat Miser."

Women Petting Dog, Commenting On Its Fur
Aunt: "It almost feels like human hair!"
Cousin: "I know! How did they get it on the dog?"

Dumb Guy Impressed By Anyone Smarter Than Him
Guy: "Man, I'm gonna take that dude to Vegas and we're gonna work out a system and we're gonna make a million bucks!"
Girl" "He's only ten!"

Customer In LA Restaurant (Insert Your Own Joke About The Population Of China)
"I don't want any white rice. It makes me horny."

Guy In Bar Who's Never Watched CSI
"That guy's got no style. That's the worst crime I can think of."

“Sweet Helen, make me immortal with a kiss”



The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
Christopher Marlowe


Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods or steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;

A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of th purest gold;

A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.

The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.



The Nymphs Reply to the Shepherd
Sir Walter Raleigh


If all the world and love were young,
And truth in every shepherd's tongue,
These pretty pleasures might me move
To live with thee and be thy love.

Time drives the flocks from field to fold
When rivers rage and rocks grow cold,
And Philomel becometh dumb;
The rest complains of cares to come.

The flowers do fade, and wanton fields
To wayward winter reckoning yields;
A honey tongue, a heart of gall,
Is fancy's spring, but sorrow's fall.

Thy gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of roses,
Thy cap, thy kirtle, and thy posies
Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten
In folly ripe, in season rotten.

Thy belt of straw and ivy buds,
Thy coral clasps and amber studs,
All these in me no means can move
To come to thee and be thy love.

But could youth last and love still breed,
Had joys no date nor age no need,
Then these delights my mind might move
To live with thee and be thy love.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

"And I a maid at your window, To be your Valentine."



Trying to sort out the next trip to Oxford for Valentine's Day.
Not ON Valentine's Day, but the plan was for the weekend before.

But that's Ryan's birthday :(

My argument was since we both think the materialism of VDay is horrible, it should not matter if I come before or after, as long as we get to see eachother.

His reply is better to come early than later-
and come for more than 30 hours.
(Which will mean coming later so I can take more time off)

So I'll be in LA for Vday.
And we've agreed no gifts and to instead split the cost on my flight.

"But I can't imagine not getting you something" I typed.

"'I will make thee beds of roses, And a thousand fragrant posies'"
"I really hope thats not a hint to sending me flowers at work" I worried.

"No my silly Darling, it is not. It is a Marlowe line that you really should know."

I don't know the line.
Oh well.
More Homework from Prof. Barrvam.

AND the car is doing some odd electrical something now too.
I'm missing the BarSluts, and if the car is a major pain, it will mean no play time with the kids on Friday either.

Grrrrr to frustration!

Friday, January 06, 2006

"Ideal for annecdote or alibi"



Haven't written-
not much reading-
but I am getting up for a quick work out every morning at 5:30-
so that's something :)

Stannum just sent me these amusing ads from the UK.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

"Hold to the now, the here, through which all future plunges to the past..."



Happy New Year!

I’m in a progressive state of evolution.
Distracted by the superfluous,
And seemingly unable to focus on the necessity.

We were meant to have a great Christmas, a celebratory new year,
And then to buckle down and prep.

Time to concentrate
Time to organize
Time to focus

Must write more
It's been months since the last publication-
Would feel rather accomplished if I could get something new published before August.

Concentrate

No more addictions fed with consumer endeavors
No more buying rounds and dinner parties
No more “I’ll write tomorrow”

Time, blessed Time.

Guest list spots and boys buying cocktails should not be distraction enough from what should be

Pause and breathe
Examination

Prep for what is new, and what is true

Must write
Must read
Must do

“Let me live, love and say it well in good sentences.”