Wednesday, January 11, 2006

"This cow had polio."

Polly shared one of the overheard sites today-
Here are some of my faves:

Overheard At 24th And Potrero. Unclear If Said By Man, Woman Or Hooker
"My panties are like hot pants tonight. Whoooooooo!"

Girl to Friend Before Walking Into Bedroom
Girl 1: "Let me go see if John is decent."
Girl 2: "You can tell that just by looking at him?"

Writing Teacher On The Mammalian Quality Of Ideas
"Ideas are like cows. No, no, that's stupid.... Ideas are like rabbits."

Art Supply Store Clerk I Can't Help But Think Was Mistaken
"Yeah, I'm sorry, we don't have any two-sided paper."

Guys Demonstrating The Difference Between The Cultures
Brit: "We wanted to tour New Orleans, but now -- well, it's just so sad."
American: "You could still go. Just get a room on the top floor."

Guy Who Knows Where To Get All The Best Homeless Services
"I'm homeless, bitches! Wanna get laid? That's okay, my dick's out of commission anyway. I hooked up with a dominatrix last night."

Guy I'm Glad Isn't My Dad
Girl: "What ever happened to Snuffleupagus?"
Guy: "I think they turned him into potted meat."

Fifth Graders On MUNI
Boy: "You got to be quiet cause she's tryin' to read the newspaper, and he's readin' a book, and she's tryin' to listen to her ipod."
Girl: "Well then she'd better crank that shit up."

The Fun Thing About Halloween Parties
Guy: "Is Robert Smith British?"
Girl: "I don't know. Let's ask the spider; she'd know."

Exhausted Guy In Hospital Waiting Room
"I wonder why they have a chapel but they don't have a bar."

Guy Making Me Doubt My Grandma's Wisdom
Girl: "You know how they say when your nose itches someone's coming?"
Guy: (Blank stare) "You mean sexually?"

Vegetarian In Heavy Denial
Guy: "You're a vegetarian? But you're wearing a leather coat."
Girl: "This cow had polio."

Animators At Party, Flirting In A Rankin/Bass Sort Of Way
Guy: "I know why you like me. I'm too much!"
Girl: "Eh, you're cool. But you're no Heat Miser."

Women Petting Dog, Commenting On Its Fur
Aunt: "It almost feels like human hair!"
Cousin: "I know! How did they get it on the dog?"

Dumb Guy Impressed By Anyone Smarter Than Him
Guy: "Man, I'm gonna take that dude to Vegas and we're gonna work out a system and we're gonna make a million bucks!"
Girl" "He's only ten!"

Customer In LA Restaurant (Insert Your Own Joke About The Population Of China)
"I don't want any white rice. It makes me horny."

Guy In Bar Who's Never Watched CSI
"That guy's got no style. That's the worst crime I can think of."


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