Monday, April 24, 2006

"Vanity working on a weak head, produces every sort of mischief."

The only thing Colin and I seem to argue about is the move.
I'm not prepping enough, I've not submitted paperwork soon enough, I need to start sorting out my possesions and decide what to take.

It's all true.
On top of that Geoff has a talent for making me feel like a total slack.
He's moved up his date to relocate to the U.S. and has still been able to get everything taken care of and done before his departure.

He's even doing a practice packing.
Who practices to see if everything they are taking will fit?
Don't you just force it to fit?

The whole process is exhausting.
I'm sure part of my reluctance is that it's going to be filled with challenges.
And I'm still feeling like no one even cares that I'm going.
(Well no one on this side of the pond anyway.)

Daily I'm feeling like people here could care less and will only notice I've gone when they phone to ask me a question-
And folks there are rushing and pushing and making me dig my heels.
(As I am prone to do like the brat that I am.)

The chat today was the normal scheduled, 'You're here in 30 days, this is what I have commitments to do, this is when you can either be on your own or come sit in on my lectures, what would you like to do with the rest of the time?'

I started complaining about feeling rushed and unnoticed and tired and grumpy and stressed and scared and like a slacker.
Then I said I'm going to have some sort of grilling afternoon cocktails thingy and line up all the crap I'm not keeping, and offer to whomever comes.
He pointed out that the good thing about that is once I set a date, I'll HAVE to have everything sorted.
That's true.
But I still feel like I'm not getting anything done.

We started going through options of what I'd like to do while over this time-

Bath- to walk the scenes from 'Persuasion' and see the architecture- While stressing he is willing to go, he also stressed that maybe I'd enjoy it on my own more than with him.

Stratford-He'd happily go and knows someone who is part of some Shakespeare society, so it would be fun for him. Apparently more so than a day filled with retracing Jane Austen's steps.

Cambridge-He'd love to go. He's been several times and thinks I would enjoy it immensley.

Snape Maltings-Absolutely not. If I insist on going all the way there just to say I've been there, I can "bloody well" go on my own.

So much for supporting silly crushes :)

If I were already in the UK, these are the things I'd be doing...

The London Golf Show.
I want to try The Floating Green, ( a green floating off the docks, that you can try and hit a hole in one) and The Hitting Nets, (free lessons from pros and a chance to try new equipment.)

This Isn't For You classical music nightclub at the Shoreditch Town Hall.

Icons and Idols at the National Portrait Gallery.

Prepping for May 1st and May Morning

Instead I'm here in LA, fretting about where to begin, and watching the clock till it's time to head into traffic and on to class.

Nevermind the overly eventful weekend that is booked and all I really feel like doing is going somewhere green and doing some reading on my own.
But I'd feel guilty, which means I feel obligated, which is no reason to do anything.

It's only Monday-maybe it'll seem better in a day or two.


Anonymous Colin said...

Would it have been better for me to say, 'Please don't make me walk about submerged in everything Austonian'?

I will confess I would rather Bath than Snape.

Blogger Crickett said...

Hey dolly... some of us just aren't dealing with the fact that you are leaving.




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