Thursday, April 27, 2006

"We gots a hairy chicken!"


At the office today, there is a sort of fair thing going on.
It's a celebration for the town that the office campus is in.
Every year the Conejo Valley has a weekend event, old west themed, and businesses in the area also recognize and celebrate the event.
So today, for lunch, there is grilling, and carnival games, cotton candy, cookies, ice cream, and a petting zoo.

My walk up the hill to the building I work in warned me that it was going to be an odd day.

First, the shuttle that drives between buildings was no where to be seen.
Second, a huge section of the parking lot was blocked off.

I hike to the top of the hill and see the shuttle.
What appears to be a large cow is looking out the back window.
I watch amused as folks dressed in Western wear wrestle this life-sized heifer.

Then the crowds of folks who have apparently been waiting for the shuttle have drudged up the hill and start complaining to the shuttle driver about having been waiting, and demanding to know where he'd been, and wanting to know what was going on.
His reply?

"I couldn't make the COW walk up the hill!"

The cow.
The fiberglass cow that took half a dozen people to move and carry into the building.

Later in the morning we hear several helicopters buzzing the building and much time is spent looking up local breaking news to find out what was going on, and watching the helicopters gather near by.

Michael (Hot Mikey on the Bikey), Michelle, and I head down to check out the fair and grab some lunch.
It's all very organized and there is a que set up like you're in line for a roller coaster, and very annoying banjo music is playing.

We're going down the line, making small talk and saying hello to people, when Michael leans over and says,
"Oh NO! You just started your period didn't you?!?!"

You'd think by now he would not be able to surprise me, but no-
There I am shocked by what's just come out of his mouth and all I can think to say is,
"WHAT?!!?"

"Every time you start and I'm around you I get a hard on and you smell like cookies."
(this is what he says to me waiting to have lunch)
"Michael Darling, there is a rather large platter of cookies on that table over there."
"OH THANK GAWD!"
(yes, he yelled it)
"Cookie hard ons are fine. I thought I was getting it for a hoo ha!"

A "hoo ha".
That's what the gay boys are calling it these days.

We start to head outside to where the tables are set up and Michael tries to decide where to sit (which means who he does NOT want to sit with) there's some shuffeling around and pleasantries exchanged and somehow two conversations are going on.

I say I want to go see the petting zoo, and Michelle says, "there's a bear"
"There's a BEAR?!" I say excitedly.
"There's a BEAR at the petting zoo?!?!"
This I must have said very loudly because I hear the waves as it gets repeated behind me with different voices all the way back into the caffeteria repeating, "There's a bear at the petting zoo!"

Suddenly a surge of people started making their way out of the caffeteria, spilling past us, and headed for what must have been the petting zoo.

"Forget lunch! Let's go see the bear!" I say, trying to tempt my friends.

"With all those helicopters I doubt they are letting anyone get close." says Michelle.

"Helicopters?" I asked.

"Around the bear." she explains.

This is as we are following the crowd to a portion of the asphalt with some hay thrown down and small fencing put up.

"There's no bear at the petting zoo?" I ask disapointedly

"We gots a hairy chicken!" I guess the man working the petting zoo finds hairy chickens as exciting as a bear.

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